We are two magnets made to attract. Apparently, we are two magnets with the same side of poles. We tried. Attracting. But no matter how hard we try, we repel. And repel. And repel all over again. I’m afraid that if we still keep on making it work, it’ll be a disaster. Catastrophic. I wanna pull you because that’s what should have been done in the first place. That’s what magnets do. That’s what we are made for, or so we thought.

We got closer but the closer we get, the higher the intensity of the universe pulling you back. Away. Or maybe, I’m the one being pulled away. The one who got disconnected. The one who should have turned the other way around to repulse everything. To change everything. So we can attract. For you to believe that we can and we will.

Along the process, I’ve been continually being pulled. Sadly, it’s not towards you but away. I’ve been constantly blaming myself because this could have worked out. We could be the magnet, just less my ego and selfishness.

In the meantime, I need to find myself because I’ve been lost in the transition. Maybe it’s just the right thing to do; find my way getting to that other pole so I can turn it around. Hopefully, it can make things the way we want it to be. For now, I’ll go back to where we have been before. Maybe that will work for both of our interests. Maybe that will ease the damage that has been done because I don’t want to make it worse. Perhaps, you too wouldn’t want to. For what it’s worth, I don’t wanna hurt me. And I don’t wanna (keep) hurt(ing) you.







Or maybe you deserve someone who isn’t me.


Lonely soul

One day, loneliness is something you’ll be craving for. The feeling of being alone will give you comfort because you are already forgetting someone, and it’s you. You’ll be looking for the soft touch of your bed when you’re the only one lying there freely without any  thoughts of having to wake up someone because of your loud snore. It is just you and your favorite music on the background with your cup of coffee. In the morning, you’ll just swift away the curtains and look how peaceful and serene things are. You will binge-watch your favorite TV series which you have missed when you were too occupied. Then you will put the volume up because anyhow, it’s just you and no one else. No one will care.

It just hits you. No one did really care and it’s too painful to know. Tears started to fall down your cheeks. Realizations started to sink in. Loneliness was never a thing you’ve wanted. You thought for a while you can be alone but it is breaking you down. You taught yourself to be a strong-independent person and you know you can be better at it. But NO!

One day you’ll ask yourself, “Why am I lonely?” The answer is you were never lonely. You were consumed by the world and saw it as an easy thing that no matter what it gives you, you can just take it. You wanted friends but thinks that life is better if it is just “me and nobody else.” You were too strong everyone else got afraid.

Soon it will get hard. You will be ruined and devastated and destroyed. Once it happens, I’ll be here picking up the pieces telling that the company of someone is better than the company of your own shadow. Because a person will stay beside you but your shadow will leave when the sun sets. And there will always be someone who would wait with you until the sun rises again.

Belive me, you would want to be lonely but not for too long.